The Big Black Boogie Man
- I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY
- Jul 19, 2019
- 3 min read
One night when I was eight years old we lived in Joel Court projects in Prichard, Alabama. My mama fried chicken that night and let the little window above the stove up to let the smoke out. She forgot to let it down. While we were sleeping a man stuck his hand in the small kitchen window above the stove and unlocked the back door. He walked through the kitchen into the living room, through the hallway, and into my bedroom. While I was sleeping he stuck his hand under the covers and began touching my vagina. I moved in my sleep. I thought I was dreaming. I felt the sensation and it felt good. I had no idea someone was really touching me. I suddenly opened my eyes and I saw him. I saw a big dark shadow that looked like a man. It was so dark I could only see his silhouette highlighted by the moonlight from the window. I immediately screamed. Fear snatched my entire body. I was frozen. I couldn’t move.
I yelled. “Mama! Mama! There is a man in my room!”
But she didn’t get up. I kept screaming and she wouldn’t get up.
She kept screaming back to me “What?!? What are you screaming about?! What do you want?!”
She didn’t get up and he didn’t move his hand. It just stayed there in between my legs. I could barely move from around it.
It covered my entire private area. After several minutes of yelling, I could hear her mattress creaking. She was getting up to come to my room. He slowly began to back away from my bed and ran into the hallway. The bathroom light was the only light on and that’s when I saw he was a dark skin African American man, tall, large build, dressed in a tweed multi-colored blazer. I didn’t recognize him. My mother leaving her room ran right into him. He ran passed her, back into the living room and out the back door. She said she chased him but he ran back across the street and down the block. When he ran out of my room, I turned on my side and faced the wall. I cried and tried to telepathically connect to my father in Florida. I thought if he could just feel me he would know to come to get me. My mama called the police and my grandma to come over to the house. Two white police officers showed up. The young white cop whispered to my mama but I heard everything. He said
“Because she doesn’t know what he looks like it’s a slim chance we can catch him. He’s most likely watched her play outside.”
The police tried to conduct an interview but I refused to answer any of their questions. I didn’t trust them. I was scared. I felt nasty and guilty. I thought I had done something wrong because the sensation felt pleasurable to me. I thought it was my fault. It was only until my grandma looked me in my eyes and assured I wasn’t going to get in trouble if I told them where the bad man touched me.
She said. “You not gon’ get in trouble. Just point to where he touched you.”
I pointed. “Lord have mercy!!!” my grandma whispered
My mama cried.
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I Have Something to Say written by Japonica Brown
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